The Champions Page


Well I've been in championship form recently readers. I don't know about you but I've been hitting peak form at the right time! I mean to say that in my last outing I really leathered the ball! I ran 50 yards, took on 5 people and pulled out the old rocket from the back pocket!

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Top corner folks!

Basically I thought I'd put together a compilation of all the winners in life that go unnoticed. There are so many people in the world winning in every minute I felt I would take some of the pressure off the good old award panels.

We're all winners!

We are all winners, this girl is absolutely correct. Although from looking at her leopard print all in one leisure wear I doubt she'll be winning this seasons fashion prize. To be fair if she was a real winner she'd have been given a more expensive winning certificate than that one. Dick.


The Winners Circle

Now for a selection of people I think deserve some recognition for their winning achievements

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These guys tell their own little story just from the photo don't you think? These were the first people ever to smile on film. The man in the stripes shows that he's fashionable and up to date. He was found to be smuggling beards into the country. He covered it well by only wearing a moustache himself. I think I'm going award them a Silver Cup for 'The best of the worst 1900s poses and smiles' We can all assume they are dead now. Safe in the knowledge our beards will stay untouched from gypsies, tramps and theives. 

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This guy here is a true champion. He's the legendary Jeff Baker. He won 159 of his 160 fights. This picture is of an exhibition match against Randy 'Oh so handy' Wormington. In his REAL fights Jeff would wear nothing but a loin cloth to spare his 'Mangé touse'. However as the worlds only photographer was at the event, Jeff went for the modest speedos of his day. 

He again is dead now. Died of a broken wrist watch. It was a swatch. The first bastard one.


Wow! This chap practically stole this award! Look at his cute little face encased by a large winter Russian hat. Boy is he a card. Everyday he comes into the office wearing a variety of fun head gear! Sadly I only have space for this one. I've been told he once came in with a ribbed condom aloft his crown. His catch phrase all day was to point at his head and say 'For her pleasure!'. Oh what a guy! Although as mad as he is, he's still the top earner in the office. Who says zany behaviour is a bad influence in the office! Get away with you! He's walking away with the 'Office Guy of the Year award', well done sir.


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Well well well! We all know of these two don't we! These two, from right to left are Roger and Stevie. They are the official 9 times world champions of the 'Cockles and Deggs' Championships. The contest consists of seeing how many cockles and deggs you can fit in a pair of slips or briefs. With these two as the new faces of this event you better watch this space for the growing phenomenon.

In their latest competition they won by a mammoth TWO clear deggs.

Hurrah for Roger and Stevie! Good luck for next year boys. Apparently they are being tracked by Cica for a possible six figure sponsorship deal. 


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He's now famous for being a pulchy mard one man show! He takes his show all over the world! Next stop Ohio! All Aboard! With a two piece like that I'm sure not gonna be the one that stops his show!



I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for appreciating the winners in this years circle!


This, circle of winners is subject to constant change and update at my pleasure.


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