Tinned Mixed Vegetables
Does anyone like that muck? No thank you. Not passing through my Temple. Mixed Veg? I ask you. In a can? If anyone ever buys mixed veg. I can guarantee that it'll stay at the back of the cupboard until its 3 years out of date. It's usually placed near that hot pipe in the cupboard so it's gonna taste really bad when cracked open.
It usually looks something like this
Not even a proper make of food is it. I mean birdseye wouldn't touch that tinned muck. They are all about freshness man. Keeping it real bro. You can get away with buying no make beans from Netto. I mean yer they taste like regulation army bullets but at 9p you can count the savings my good sir. I blame harvest festivals. What a wank 'festival' I mean there isn't even a festival atmosphere.
This is where the crazy world of mixed veg takes of you see. Imagine it. 25 years ago your nanna is a busty 40 year old. You were just a dream on the cusp of reality.
She loved that Bike!
Fresh faced she heard a clamour about a new product called 'Tinned mixed Vegetables' She was soooo excited she bought two cans! 'They last for years' She shouted! She cracked a can open and feasted on the goods inside. Yuk! we never saw the second can until the harvest festival 25 years on. That can was found in our cupboard. Near that old hot pipe. Boom Nanna gets them back.
Youth Personified
Nanna went fucking ape shit when she discovered that bastard. I mean she proper fucked up the place man. She at like four kit kats out of protest. I think she pissed in Gramps coat pockets. That's the danger of that shit you see.
Des O'connors Patch
Hiya Crust! I'm here with my patch. A small journal which may grow larger. Today I'm here to warn you of the perils of Tinned mixed veg
I've made a little poem for you Crust so that you don't forget all the above.
'Mixed veg can crush a man
Dirty stuff, smells of ham
Throw away phrases
and drink away dreams
Tomorrow it's forgotten
You'll wish you plumped for beans'
Des O'conner there spinning silk words from his ever tight youthful mouth.